is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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