If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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