I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
