i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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