I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
