ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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