Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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