Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
