How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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