she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
