Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
