Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize