wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
