i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
