I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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