I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
