..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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