I could make wine with my vomit
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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