He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
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I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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