you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Found your dick twin last night
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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