I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
