Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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