I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
