so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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