You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
