dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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