Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
