3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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