ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
is that a dick in a sweater?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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