my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
