I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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