dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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