What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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