I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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