She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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