Cold hands, warm shart.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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