she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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