No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
