Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
