I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize