You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
