remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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