grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize