so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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