hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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