sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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