Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...