it was like his penis was on wheels.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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