Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize