Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
