I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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