I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
