i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
