jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
