Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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