she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
